Neglect

My poor blog is so lonely and sad because I haven't updated in a million years. I promise I shall return once I have a moment to breathe. Life is good though. :-)

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The Problem With a Quick Getaway

Last week, Phil and I took off to Atlanta for the Rays vs. Braves series at Turner Field! For the most part, we had a great time. We even came home via Magic Kingdom and Epcot so that we could extend our fun time.

The only problem with a quick getaway like that? We stayed up late and woke up early, so we didn't really relax. In fact, I feel like I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep now, after we've been back for 4 days! And since I don't feel relaxed, I come back to work and immediately feel stressed out and worried about the looming deadline for the end of my job/contract.

But I mustn't forget the fun that we had... Besides watching all 3 games, we also toured CNN Studios (and Rays starting pitcher Wade Davis' mom was on our tour - she was so sweet!), the World of Coca-Cola, and the Georgia Aquarium. We took the tour at Turner Field, and we had field passes for batting practice before Thursday's game. I will post my awesome photos soon; don't worry. :-)

Now...back to life. A mixture of excitement and fear. Much more, very soon...

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The Worst Part of This Whole Thing

No, it's not the [unfounded and deep, dark] fear that I'll be destitute and living on the streets.

Nor is it the fleeting thought that I will be an unproductive member of society (heck, half my pay goes down the drain at the Federal level anyway).

And it's not even the fear that I will get stuck in a job I hate just for the sake of bringing home a paycheck.

The worst part of all this was having to tell two of my people that they are being cut as well. That, while our company will do everything it can to find other employment for them, their futures are up in the air after November.

Because when my boss told me this, at least I was able to hide my emotion - from both her and myself, to a huge extent. But when I spoke to my folks, I started hearing bits and pieces of their lives about which I had no previous knowledge. Things that make me worry about their futures even more so than mine.

I have a huge issue with empathy, and stressing on behalf of other people. Reason #523 why I don't believe management is the place for me to be.

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Lacking Concentration

So as it turns out, it's rather difficult to concentrate on your current job when you know that you need to find a new one.

It's also difficult to focus the search for a new one when you're not so sure what you actually want to do.

And with this whole event scoring way up there on the "stress scale," I'm having a hard time focusing on anything else, basically.

To the point that, had I not booked a non-refundable rate for our hotel next week, I would have canceled our trip to Atlanta all together. But maybe that was meant to be; hopefully I'll have fun for a few days and forget what ails me!

And thanks to you all for the comments to yesterday's post! I appreciate the support more than you know, and I thrive on the optimism of others...especially when it's hard for me to find my own! :-) xoxoxo

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Changes on the Horizon

Well, I was hoping that when I returned to blogging, it would be on a positive note. And while there is potential for good things to happen, the motivation that has brought me back is fear.

Yesterday, I was informed that my job will essentially be eliminated in approximately five months. In November. Ironically, my ten year anniversary with my company is in August.

A huge part of me is scared. The job market in Tampa is horrendous. Any change in this department is going to affect my lifestyle significantly.

Another part of me is secretly excited for the opportunity to finally find something that I love. Except for the problem that lies in the fact that I have no idea what it is that I would love. And that lingering issue of a craptastic job market.

::sigh::

Anyway, this is why I've finally returned to blogging: to document the countdown to a dramatic change in my employment situation.

Tips, suggestions, words of wisdom? All will be gladly accepted!

xoxoxo

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Spring Cleaning Craziness

Those of you who follow my tweets might have noticed that I was doing a bit of Spring cleaning this weekend and yesterday. I completely cleared out our office, painted it, and then tackled the last of the boxes from our move {ahem...2 years ago} that we discovered in the closet {sad...didn't know they were there!}.

Anyway, I thought I might entertain you all with a run-down of some of the things that I found in said boxes. Go ahead and judge; I would! ;-)

• a tequila bottle {Jose Cuervo 1800, if you must know} completely filled with pennies
• 2 Cisco routers {Phil's}
  
• a fiber optic cable cleaning kit {Phil's}
  
• my fugly high school varsity jacket {pic below...horrid...and now on its way to the dump}
• a journal of mine from 1997 {which will provide future blog entertainment, for sure}
• all the poems I wrote in high school and college {I am published, believe it or not}
• a Halloween costume from when I was maybe 3 years old
• filters {I think?} for Phil's cigar humidor, which I'm pretty sure he no longer owns
• a bunch of framed and autographed comic book covers {obviously Phil's}

Ah. So many laughs. Which, in the end, makes it all totally worth it. Along with the streamlined office. :-)

My God-awful high school varsity jacket. Vomitous colors!!

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Monday Mantra: May 17, 2010

This week is going to be my first full 5-day work week in a while. Boo. {Insert whining here}

I believe that I am pretty darn handy for a girly-girl.

I'm addicted to candlelit bubble baths & perfumed French soap.

I wish that my office would magically put itself back together after yesterday's deep cleaning and painting adventure.

I'm envious of the way very young children can be so carefree about how they are perceived.

Soundtrack/Mantra for the week: "Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?" ~ Richard Bach

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Ridiculously Behind {in All Aspects of Life}

How did this happen? I am so far behind with everything lately. Work, 1/2 marathon training, working with my tax accountant, blogging, responding to personal emails, etc. About the only thing that I have stayed somewhat up to date on is my volunteer stuff.

Speaking of which, this evening I officially "graduate" and become an Active member of the Junior League of Tampa! I am so excited for the Annual Dinner tonight! :-) I've also been working on a tiling project for JLT and Mary Lee's House that I should finish tomorrow. And then I can finally, finally post some photos of what has consumed a great deal of my life over the past few months. :-)

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in here so y'all know that I haven't completely dropped off the blogosphere. I hope to do a little blogging this weekend ~ we'll be in Ponte Vedra, enjoying The Players Championship at Sawgrass (not so excited about seeing Tiger this year), a little relaxation, and Phil's cousin's college graduation!

More soon! Love to you all! I really do miss communicating via this mechanism & will get back to it!

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Monday Mantra: April 26, 2010

This week simply must be better than my weekend was. I can't take any more bad for a while.

I believe that I still have a lot of emotional growth and healing to do in my life.

I'm addicted to searching for inspiration.

I wish that I was really looking forward to something right now.

I'm jealous of people who can do things that I can't. Real specific, eh?

Soundtrack/Mantra for the week : “If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.” ~ Tom Krause

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Get Down With the Sickness

Ugh. I don't get full-on, knocked-down sick very often. But when I do? Whatever I get inevitably lingers and doesn't want to let go. And that is what I've been struggling with for the past week, unfortunately. :( I still don't even know exactly what's "wrong" with me, but I'm finally on day 2 of antibiotics. Because the experiment with decongestants and allergy meds (we've been experiencing record pollen levels) didn't really do much to help.

So today I have decided to embark on a detox of fresh juices, herbal teas and raw salads. There are other elements, such as a mineral bath and dry brushing, but I won't go into all the details. No caffeine will be the toughest part, but it's only one day so I will live! I also plan to run and do Bikram tonight in an effort to sweat out whatever toxins are hanging on inside my body. Hopefully all this will help me feel better ASAP!

Despite not feeling great, I did make it to Jacksonville over the weekend and got to hang with my mom and my nephew. Little B is getting so big, and now he can actually smile of his own accord. Which is highly entertaining, and caused me to spend the entire weekend making him smile that cute little smile of his. What fun! Here are a few photos from our time together...

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